Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
