just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
