..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
