i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We don't watch enough power rangers
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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