This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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