Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
