Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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