it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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