Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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