i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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