dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
