I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you will always have a special place in my vag
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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