I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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