go do what you do best...puke behind churches
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
