Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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