as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
