Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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