the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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