i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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