We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
