Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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