Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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