the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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