So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
