I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
