Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize