I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
