she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
