I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
