I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize