I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize