Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
