Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
