Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think I sprained my soul last night
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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