john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
