I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize