i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
