you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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