Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
