I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
