garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize