I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
