dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
