Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
we should paint friendship bongs
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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