New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You did what with his pubic hair?
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