i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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