I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
