I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
