I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
