you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
