You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
