I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
