found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think my moral compass just broke
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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