Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize