just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
