There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
