I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
